a bursting heart.

Right now my heart is bursting and I can't find the words to speak it. I have so many thoughts, so many feelings and an ever-raging storm of love in my heart. It's a strange kind of beautiful, and I don't feel the need to pick it apart or try and figure it out.

There are a million things I want to express. Not just here, but out loud to those I hold most near and dear to my little heart. I'm trying so hard to get the words right because these feelings are too big to hold in. I'm learning to let myself go and just be. I'm trying my best to give all of myself whenever I can, and I'm filled with such an unearthly happiness. Through all the hardships my little bear boy brings out a light in me that I can't even begin to explain, and as he grows the light grows ever brighter.

I've been going through phases where it just hits me that I'm about to be blessed with another wild little soul. My little fox boy. Thinking about it as I'm typing is making me want to just run out and scream at the top of my lungs with elation. It is a great and wonderful life and I am finally, truly living it - embracing it as it comes at me and letting go of things that don't go 'my way.' It feels good.

I am full of thoughts and feelings and plans and lists and ideas. I feel like I'm going to explode and I have every desire to put on my sneakers and just go outside and run until I can't run anymore. It feels like the only way to express how I'm feeling right now. Instead though, I'm going to quietly sit with my lists and plans and ideas buzzing and humming around in my head with my feet propped up on my fella. I will enjoy this moment and smile because I know the best is yet to come.